Coming through loss and significant changes in your life forces you to reflect on your resilience. I believe we all have resilience. It’s not something we need to go out and find. But it is a skill we need to continuously develop. Building on resilience will help you to strengthen your emotional wellbeing and you’ll feel better able to cope when the shiz hits the fan.
Here’s the thing. For years, I was led to believe that being resilient was about my bounce-back-ability and behaving like Tigger when things are feeling shite on the inside. This never felt right to me. It created unnecessary pressure on top of the difficult circumstances I was already facing.
The truth about resilience.
The truth is, resilience is more about your capacity to adapt, learn and grow in the face of challenging times, whilst maintaining stability in terms of your emotional wellbeing.
Rather than letting situations drain you and giving up hope, being resilient is about finding ways to rise from the ashes. Resilience encompasses your attitude, your optimism, your ability to work with you emotions and your perspective on things.
The good news is that resilience isn’t an innate personality trait. It’s something that you can take steps to achieve and work towards.
16 things you can do to improve your resilience.
#1. Find some relaxation stuff that works for you. Do what the things you love and set aside time to do it.
#2. Tap into positivity because finding the silver lining in even the worst of circumstances does help to raise your energy vibration. This isn’t about succumbing to Pollyanna-ish denial, it’s about accepting your feelings (positive and negative) but not wallowing in the negative.
#3. Stay open hearted. Being of service to others is a powerful way of stoking resilience. Similarly, acts of kindness boots your serotonin and can have a cumulative effect.
#4. Practice assertiveness when it comes to communicating with others. Tell people how you feel if they are being unreasonable and if it’s not serving you. Know when to say no.
#5. Find new things to hold your interest. Finding a new hobby or activity that’s completely new is a great way to push your comfort zone and get away from everyday stress. You can even share this with a friend.
#6. Put aside time for your friends and family. This can sometimes feel like a challenge when you’re busy but it will definitely help you to get some light relief from stress and prevent you from fully withdrawing into yourself. Laughing and smiling with your besties is a great boost.
#7. Stay active (or get active). This is important for your physical and mental health. This doesn’t need to be a full scale workout. Just getting out into the fresh air for a short walk can help.
#8. Keep an open mind. The more you can leverage challenges as opportunities to grow and evolve, the more resilient you are likely to be. Are you able to focus on the solutions rather than fixate on the problem? You can see change as happening for you rather than to you.
Ready for another 8?
#9. Find some harmony in your life. This is about not allowing one part of your life to dominate your time and energy. Lean into the things that serve you in the moment. You will feel lighter.
#10. Eat healthily. When you’re feeling stressed, it can be tempting to skip meals or eat too much of the wrong kinds of food. But what you eat, and when you eat, can make a big difference to how well you feel.
#11. Have a good sleep pattern. When things get tough, it can be difficult to sleep. Find a pattern that works for you without forcing yourself to go to sleep. Quality is key here. Having enough sleep means you can think more clearly.
#12. Be kind to yourself. Giving yourself time, space and being patient with your process will help you to take control of pressure in different scenarios. Similarly, forgiving yourself when you feel you’ve screwed up will alleviate any additional pressure.
#13. Sort out the niggles. Layering stress on top of stress won’t help, so if you’re encountering additional issues in your relationships then find a way to move past them and move forward.
#14. Recognise your victories. These don’t need to be big steps forward. Acknowledging baby steps like making a decision helps you to tap into your self-confidence.
#15. Take a break. Get some time out from your normal routine and recharge your body, mind and soul. You will feel better able to face things head on.
#16. Find your sense of humour. There’s a reason that comic relief works so well. Laughing in the face of adversity can be profoundly pain relieving for both the body and mind.
Feeling lost or overwhelmed right now?
If you need some help coping with changes that are happening in your life right now, why not take a look at my coaching options.