I know that writing a letter to your future self sounds a bit cheesy. But it really is a wonderful gift to give yourself – especially when you’re in the midst of loss.
After a relationship break-up, self-esteem can be at a low ebb and it’s difficult to see the woods from the trees.
Writing a letter to your future self is a sort of time capsule which offers valuable insight and enables you to take forward your life lessons.
It’s going to give you the opportunity to reflect (very honestly) on your growth since the break-up and this in turn, will build your confidence because you’re going to fully appreciate what you’ve come through – and just how amazing you are.
I want to share with you 4 reasons why this is really going to really help:
#1 Nurture gratitude.
One of the best things for your emotional health is to practice gratitude regularly. It reduces stress and helps you realise what you have. If you’re going to write a letter to yourself after a break-up, an expression of gratitude is one of the wisest things you can include.
This letter is like a message in a bottle. When you open it years from now, you will likely have forgotten what it is you wrote. So give yourself a gift and fill it with appreciation and gratitude for the person you are today. When it’s time to open it up, your future self will thank you.
#2 Increase self-awareness.
Do you ever look back over old photos of the life you had before? It’s sometimes a little cringe because you’re confronting your past self. This is a good thing, because it shows you how much you’ve grown.
So when you write the letter and receive it in the future, you’ll also be able to acknowledge how much you’ve grown – and how much you’re still you. All of your idiosyncrasies and thought patterns will stick out and you’ll have an even better sense of what it is that makes up you.
#3 Create your future.
What do you see for yourself for the future? How do you want to feel and who do you want to be? This is a great opportunity to look beyond the part of the journey you’re on now. Especially if you’re finding things a challenge and you feel uncertain about your future.
Get out of the present and visualise your timeline. Step on to the timeline (physically if it helps) and wrote about what you see in the future. Give yourself permission to be ambitious and dream big. Remember, what you think about, you bring about. So the more vividly you imagine your future self, the more likely it is to happen.
#4 Give yourself a memory.
Life beyond a break-up is the start of a brand new chapter. Your letter is a way to commemorate this for yourself. It’s taking a snapshot at a point in time and will feel good to look back and see what you were thinking and doing at this pivotal moment in your life.
Ways to Do This.
- There are plenty of online resources that enable you to write a letter to your future self and have it delivered via email on whatever date in the future you choose (for example, FutureMe).
- You can of course choose to write your letter at home on paper or save it as a document on your device, then keep it – as long as you don’t peek too soon! Remember to date it.
- You could also pop it in a sealed envelope and ask a trusted friend or family member to mail it back to you in the future.
- You may be able to think of other creative ways to do this.
These are some suggestions to help get you started. The important thing is to be sincere and write authentically.
Here’s a few tips:
- Offer your future self some advice.
- Write in the second person to make it more personal and direct.
- Talk about your vision as outlined above. Include some specific goals if you like. What are you excited about? What’s your ideal life feel like?
- Discuss any uncertainty about your future but be sure to include some ideas about you can overcome this.
- Include any life lessons so far. How have they impacted you?
- What’s been your biggest struggle so far and how has it affected you?
- Who are the most important people in your life and what difference do they make?
- What and who has been your source of inspiration so far? How has it affected you
If you’d like some support after a relationship break-up or you’d like to have a chat to find out more, grab a slot to talk.