One day it just happens. One day you look in the mirror, and you don’t even recognise the person looking back at you. It happens gradually and sometimes without our knowledge. We lose sight of our true self because we’ve stopped doing those things that we love. We say yes when we really mean no, and we find ourselves trying to please others instead of doing what is right for us. We feel lost. We feel like we have no purpose, and we feel resentful towards the very people we are trying to please because they can’t see the anguish in our hearts. It’s a vicious cycle and one that doesn’t stop repeating until we decide that we’ve had enough.
The Road to Lost.
Throughout my life, I had small snippets of a person that was alive only in my heart. There would be pockets of time when I would find true joy, but most of the time I would go through the motions. I was on autopilot doing those things that made me a good wife, a good daughter and a contributing member of society.
There comes a point though when all of those stuffed down emotions and desires have no choice but to come out. My father was an abusive alcoholic who killed himself when I was four. Even though he was in my life for only a short period of time, he had a great influence on my life. Those coping mechanisms I learned as a toddler, I still find myself using today to keep me feeling safe. The small child I once was, knew that to be safe, she had to unseen and unheard. But that doesn’t make for a happy or fulfilled adult.
So how does one go about finding a person that she never knew existed?
After decades of wearing different masks to please whomever was in front of me, I came to my breaking point. It was at that point when I was crying my eyes out on the bathroom floor that I knew I couldn’t live another day like all the others before. That’s when my life really began, and when the hard work started.
It’s a Choice.
Each one of us has to decide that our life is our own and no one else’s. We get to choose how we navigate it and where we go. No one, no matter who they are, gets to tell us what our life should look like. When you finally decide to take your life back, it’s hard as heck. Where do you get started?
Here’s 5 Tips to Get You on The Road to Yourself:
1. Take time for yourself every single day. Let me say that again because I know most of you will not take this seriously. Make time for yourself every single day. If you don’t value yourself enough to make yourself a priority, then why should anyone else? I have a spiritual practice that I do every single morning. It’s a non-negotiable for me and a game changer. Meditate, take a walk, read something inspirational. Do something that makes you feel whole and peaceful.
2. Follow your joy. What does that even mean? Most of us when we are in the depths of finding our true authentic self can’t even remember what makes us happy. Just start with one thing that you do on a regular basis. Do you like to paint? Sing? Take pictures? Whatever it is DO IT. Don’t wait until next week. Don’t wait until you can make time in between taking the kids to soccer practice. Put it in your schedule.
3. Make your yeses big and your no’s even bigger. Of course, we all of some things that we don’t particularly like to do that have to get done, like paying bills, but the vast majority of what we fill our life with are choices that we’ve made out of some skewed sense of obligation. If you’re invited to a party that you really don’t want to go to say no. If your spouse asks you to do something that you feel they should do themselves say no. Reserve that yes for the things that you truly want to do.
4. Say what you mean and mean what you say. You are no longer going to be in people pleaser mode. It’s hard as heck when you first start stating your truth, but it is so worth it in the end. At first people will not think you are serious and will test your boundaries but stick with it. Those people in your life that are used to you doing exactly what they want you to do will eventually get over it. Not only will you feel so much better about yourself, but you will start to attract people in your life that are drawn to your authentic beautiful self.
5. Be kind with yourself. We are our own worst critics. We think that change should be instantaneous. Give yourself the same kindness that you would give to a toddler learning how to walk. It takes time. When you fall back into old patterns, give yourself a pat on the back because you’ve noticed that pattern and you’re willing to change it for the better.
We’re always a work in progress. As long as we are breathing, we never get to the final destination. We change and thus our desires change. Be true to yourself and know that with each small step forward, you are changing not only yourself, but the people around you.
Angie Triplett is a certified Angelic Medium, Animal Communicator and Life Purpose Mentor helping you awaken the fire within your soul so that you can start living your life of purpose. Visit her website.