I’ve been sharing all over social media lately that fall is my favourite time of year. It’s nothing but the truth. I love the crisp weather, the promise of snow, the change of the colour palette, harvest foods and warm drinks. It’s my season. No doubt about it.
As Charles Dickens wrote, “It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.”
Fall is also the beginning of the holidays. What can be an especially difficult time for folks in grief. It is for me. Each of my parents passed some years ago during the holidays. There was nothing more important to my mother, I remember, than pulling the family back together during that time from where we had scattered. And nothing I dreaded more.
Grief is complicated like that. This we know. So many emotions. And sneaks up on us, years after an event. Triggered by songs and smells. Words and their absence. Traditions and rituals. The smallest things can reach in and slap us upside the heart. Intense, as though it were happening again.
Emotional Freedom Technique.
I wish I’d had EFT as a tool in my belt earlier in life when these losses happened. Rather than reliving complex losses over and over, we can learn to move through. I, among others, believe that teaching children to “tap” and otherwise meditate should be a part of school curriculum for building resilience.
Emotional Freedom Technique – EFT or “tapping”, is both a powerful self-help tool and a modality facilitated by a trained practitioner. It combines acupressure using traditional acupuncture points and Energy Psychology to clear blockages in our electrochemical/electromagnetic system. These occur when strong emotions or trauma cause a “short,” so to speak, keeping our energy system from circulating. This drains us and manifests as symptoms in our body and mental state.
There are so many wonderful tools to help us through our grief back to possibility. EFT can become something to keep handy in your toolkit.
Self-help and EFT.
In terms of self-help, using tapping meditations (like those available on The Tapping Solution App and the one I’ve recorded for you, see below) to reduce anxiety and overwhelm, as well as recurrent thoughts and milder symptoms of depression and grief, are terrific for helping to regain a sense of control. A return to function. It gives joy and hope a chance to return.
When the intensity of grief (or symptoms around it) on a scale of 1 – 10 starts reaching for 10+, that’s when it’s best to seek professional help with the techniques.
Accredited EFT practitioners have bigger tools in their belt that take a trained eye and hand to use. The when and the how are important in order to safely lower emotional intensity. This allows us to look at memories, think about the person we’ve lost, encounter what used to be triggers, without breaking down. Tools like “Touch and Breathe,” and “Tearless Trauma” lead us to a place where these emotions are no longer driving the bus. They give us back our boundaries, perspective, and allow us to safely open up again.
Grief, in a word, sucks. But ongoing suffering is optional. We can miss the physical presence of our loved ones, let go of that relationship, grieve a part of ourselves that has changed. And we can feel our feelings in the present, let them pass, and move to our next moment without them getting stuck in our systems, creating symptoms in our bodies, overwhelming our minds. EFT can help us do this.
A little freebie for you.
I’m so grateful for this modality now. To be able to reach back and “unstick” that grief hanging out in my mind and body. And for the ability to share it professionally. Effective. Short-term. Gentle. Compassionate. Terrific self-care. Great with a guide, when you need one.
Here’s a sample tapping meditation for you: Tapping through Judgements about Grief.
Deanna M. Rasch is an AEFTP Accredited EFT Practitioner who helps creative minds clear mental/emotional clutter standing between them and more easily expressing their creative self and work.
Her work focuses around boundaries that need shifting around areas such as habits, addiction, limiting beliefs, money, trauma. She is also an author/editor based in the Denver, Colorado area and works virtually with clients from all over the world.