If you’re going through a challenging time right now and finding pain from loss a battle, I understand. Most of us have experienced some form of shitty event in our lives – often unexpected. You’re not alone.
The good news is that amongst all the emotions and circumstances, you can still find your power. When you’re ready, you can choose the path of a victor over the path of a victim and do great things in the aftermath of your pain. The power is often hidden so all you need to do is seek it out and I want to share with you, how you can do this.
The first thing to know is, pain still provides choice.
I know it is often difficult to find any power in pain, especially when emotions are heightened and raw. However, I stand firm in the belief that although we cannot always control what shows up in our life – we can control how we (as individuals) respond to such things. I’ve discovered it’s about determining what you do with your pain that counts.
In the days, weeks and months following the occurrence of our pain, our choices form an important part of how we move forward. In time, you will come to see that your struggle is indeed your biggest strength.
How to reveal your power.
I’m going to share with you 8 tips that just might help you to move beyond the pain. I want o be clear that this isn’t about relinquishing your pain. Pain is a necessary part of the journey. But it’s about taking back your power so you can view the future with more certainty and an inner knowing that it’s all going to be ok.
1. Be patient. Recognise that there is no ideal timeline for your pain to disappear – and that’s ok. It is important to sit with your emotions and take comfort in the fact that they are temporary. Feelings are transient like the weather – the storm passes eventually.
2. Embrace it all. If you make the choice to lean into your pain, you will instantly feel a re-gain of your power. You are making a powerful choice. Remember the pain an oyster has to endure in order to produce a beautiful pearl.
3. Find self-assurance. Be aware that your pain does not define who you are – this is important. You are not your pain or your emotions. Flip your inner self-talk to how you feel rather than what you are. For example, “I feel down today” rather than “I’m down”.
4. Trust your intuition. Be aware of when your emotions and responses start to take over your being and you start to feel like you just exist. There is a difference between allowing things to be, and giving away your power to the pain. When you need a little ‘leg up’, ask for help from either a professional or talk to somebody that you trust.
5. Be discerning. Know when you are actually taking on the thoughts, feelings and emotions of others because of what you see, read, or hear. It’s easy to do this when spending hours scrolling through social media or listening to somebody who is imparting their ‘advice’. Allow yourself the space and time to decipher what your pain is and how you truly think or feel about it.
6. Be you. Know that there is no need to be stoic in front of colleagues, friends and family. Just be ok with where you’re at and show up authentically. Your pain is a beautiful and challenging life lesson so share your journey in whatever feels comfortable for you – in a strange turn of events, you never know who you are actually inspiring.
7. Find inspiration. There are many sources of inspiration for you to tap into – you just have to find the thing that gives you a spark. This could be anything from self-help to reading a powerful book. I always remember the story of Viktor Frankl. He leveraged his pain to find a purpose in his life. In his words, “Suffering ceases to be suffering in some way in the moment that it finds a meaning”.
8. Find purpose. There are many ways that you can do this – to find purpose is to empower yourself. It’s about recognising that although this pain has surfaced, there is an underlying opportunity (just like Viktor found). Take out your journal and ask yourself some pertinent questions such as ‘how is this pain prompting me to make some changes?’ or ‘what can I create from this pain that would be a source of hope for others?’
Still feeling hopeless?
It’s through my own painful loss that I found my purpose – which is to help others. I’m a coach but I’m also a human being with a level of understanding of things such as grief and the associated struggles.
I’m here to help you find the clarity and space that you need right now. Together we can navigate your loss and find your unique route to taking back your power. Get in touch for a chat on how we can do this.