There are so many stages of grief aren’t there? We can go through every emotion possible at any given moment, on any given day.
The ‘balloon in a glass bowl’ effect.
Imagine a large glass bowl with a balloon inside it.
In the beginning, the balloon takes up all the space in the glass bowl. There is no room for anything else. The balloon is almost the same size as the glass bowl but it fits in, consuming the bowl.
Some time later the balloon shrinks slightly in size. The glass bowl stays the same size but there is now a little space for other things in the bowl too.
Then, some time later, again, the balloon has shrunk in size. It is still there taking up space but it has reduced in size and now there is space for much more inside the bowl if you chose to fill it.
The balloon with never leave the bowl but now it is at a size that is easier for the bowl to manage.
What does this have to do with grief?
In my experience, grief never goes. The feeling of loss never leaves. However, the space in my life grows, and other things can come in, if I allow it to.
Luckily, there is an NLP technique that can help. It’s known as “Parts Integration”, and is helpful at the point on your grief journey when your life is moving on a little, but you aren’t sure if it’s right to do so. This type of thinking causes inner conflict so this technique will help you to gain some clarity.
About Parts Integration.
This is an NLP technique used for internal conflict. So, for example, on one hand you may be thinking “it’s time to move on with my life”, and on the other hand you may also be thinking “I’m not ready to move on with my life”. This causes arguments in your head because your mind is in conflict. Pushing and pulling – this is something we can all relate too, not just in grief.
Parts Integration brings the two parts of conflict together, which in turn brings harmony and peace to the mind. It enables clear decision making and positive, more balanced thoughts.
How does it work?
With my clients, we work out, through a series of detailed questioning, what each “part” of the mind wants. We explore what is the purpose of each “part”?
Ultimately each part, although it appears to be conflicting and opposite, actually want the same positive thing. This is known as “the highest positive intention”.
As an NLP Master Practitioner, I am able bring those parts together to bring, peace, harmony and relief to the individual.
Parts Integration for grief.
There may be a point in your grief that you begin to want other things in your life. You begin to want to do more, think differently, have more in your world. However, the guilt, sadness, emotion, stops you from doing that. You are at conflict with your thoughts and it’s really hard to know what to do. Guilt often has a big part to play in this.
This NLP technique will help bring your parts together. Sometimes just finding the “highest positive intention” of the “parts” is enough. But bringing them together can absolutely change your life!
In my experience it has allowed my clients to accept that life goes on. They realise that they can be happy and live, but still bare the grief. This process of this technique on some occasions has proven to be emotional, powerful but absolutely necessary. It can be a way for you to live a happy life alongside grief.
Lisa is the founder of Change Your Life Solutions. She is a Master Practitioner of NLP, Timeline Therapy and a Master Coach. She is also a practitioner of EFT, also known as “tapping”.
Lisa is passionate about helping people to get to the “root cause” of their problem, deal with it, and move on. She works with adults and also has 10 years experience of working with challenging teens. You can also follow her work over on Facebook.