“When shit happens, turn it into fertiliser” – Kute Blackson.
I’ve always loved this quote. It takes the “making lemonade out of lemons” concept to a whole new level, don’t you think?
The fact is that shit happens and we have little control over most things in life when it does. So this quote was of great comfort to me after my own loss and it pretty much became my grief prescription.
Loss is shit and it takes time to heal. But a part of my healing came from the realisation that I am the gardener and what I do with the “shit” makes a big difference as to how I come through it. We can use shit to grow and to cultivate the soil from which flowers bloom. Or, we can let it build up and cause a huge pile of shit. It’s a choice – and this, was my light-bulb moment before the grief started to lift.
How you view your loss will determine the reality you experience and often I work with clients to improve that reality so it empowers them, rather than controls them. When we experience loss, it’s easy to get stuck in the grief emotions and layer it up with fear, confusion, resistance and despair. This keeps us from healing.
Life Beyond Loss.
Everything I’ve mentioned above is the reason I created my podcast, ‘Life Beyond Loss’. I want to show you that it is totally possible to work with your loss and use it as leverage for your own personal growth.
In short, it’s a guest show all about sharing the most amazing and inspiring stories of how others have turned their shit to fertiliser. I’m bringing you the personal stories of my guests (from around the world) of how they have navigated grief and loss, through to healing and transformation. They also bring their advice and expertise to the show – what’s not to love?
Listen in to the latest episode.
How to Turn Shit to Fertiliser.
I’m not suggesting you rush the process of healing or overlook your grief. You will know when the time is right to move forward.
But I want to plant this seed for when you’re ready because you, the people closest to you, and the world will be better off when you find a way to use the learning from your loss.
Here’s a few tips to help you:
- Breath. When the grief shit rises up and you feel overwhelmed by your loss, pause and connect into the present moment using your breath. Have a go at developing a regular mindful practice.
- Give yourself plenty of space. It’s always helpful to take a step back (not shut yourself away) and take time out when you need it. This is all part of being compassionate with yourself and allows you to shovel the shit at your own pace.
- Reflect. Acknowledge where you’ve been and how far along this journey you’ve come. Regular journaling can help to recognise the shit for what it is and begin to fertilise / sow seeds of hope.
- Be curious. It’s helpful to stay open to whatever you think and feel about your loss in a non-judgemental way. Mindfulness and journaling are both excellent tools for this. Ask yourself, how can I grow from this shit?
- Take action. Think about what you need in order to start making fertiliser. For example, you may need some support to let go of the grief or figure out how you can grow.
- Trust the process. Acceptance is key here because it helps you to heal emotionally, physically and spiritually. Trust that things are working out for you and that you will heal from this shit. Think about writing a letter to your future self.
Need some help dealing with this?
You are not alone in how you feel. If you’re a little way off from being able to think about the future, that’s ok. We can just focus on the grief and how t work with it.
If you’re ready to move forward from the grief but can’t see a clear path ahead, then we can work together to find clarity. Contact me to find out more information.